Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better
by Dorks With Forks
Summary: Buffy goes back to high school and discovers No. 2 pencils aren't just for taking tests...ugh, that was really bad, just read the story, please. (I said please!) Oh, and it's right after GD2...


"Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better"  
  
Disclaimer: Buffy's not mine, but, I think the rest of 'em are…  
  
A/N: I wrote this last year for English (something to do with heroes, monsters, or the Odyssey, or maybe all three…whatever)…a lot of the stuff in the first three paragraphs are an overview of GD2, since my English teach didn't watch the show…well anyway, my teacher liked it, so read please…oh, and this takes place a few weeks after GD2…  
  
"Feelings…nothing more than feelings…" Buffy Summers sang softly as she walked out the front door of her house, about to go on patrol. "Tryin' to forget my- oh…forget it!" The slayer noticed the sun hadn't set yet, and sat on her front porch waiting for the night, and evil undead, to appear. Under normal circumstances, the Slayer would have continued walking toward one of the many cemeteries she patrolled.  
  
'But,' Buffy thought, 'The circumstances haven't been normal…for the past two weeks' She sighed and thought about that morning two weeks ago, her high school graduation. During the ceremony, the mayor had turned into a giant (as in HUGE) snake-like demon, intent on eating the attendants of the celebration and then move on to bigger things. Unfortunately, for the mayor, the graduates were prepared (with Buffy's help) and a big battle ensued. The entire senior class helped fight the demon, but many died before the demon was finally killed at the hands of Buffy, who lured the demon into the school's library and proceeded to demolish the school with many amounts of dynamite. Even though she defeated the former mayor and saved the world, again, Buffy felt the worst emotionally then she ever had in her entire life. She felt it was her fault many of her fellow piers died, and the guilt hung over her like a giant rain cloud ready to burst for being so full.  
  
And, if that wasn't enough to depress the poor slayer, ever since a few days after graduation, someone had been killing all of Sunnydale High's varsity football players. Buffy only wished she could find out who'd been doing it and make them wish they'd never touched any of the guys. But she couldn't, not only did Buffy realize the culprit may be human and all she could do was go to the police, she was also so miserable she could barely leave the house to patrol, let alone track down another baddie. In fact, during her patrols, she couldn't even stake all of the vampires she'd come across.  
  
"Vampires," Buffy spat out the word like it was poison, "I've learned my lesson. No more vampires. Vampire boyfriends are bad, bad, bad." In addition to all of the Buffy morale bashing events that had occurred, her vampire boyfriend Angel left her after the ceremony. Buffy put her head down and talked quietly to herself.  
  
"What is this? Pick on Buffy month? I swear, one more bad thing happens to me-"  
  
"So I guess you're not going to enjoy my presence then." Buffy's head shot up when she realized someone, or something, had been listening to her random ramblings. Standing in front of her was a very tall and skinny vampire who looked less than pleased to be standing in front of the slayer's house. Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled a stake out from behind her jacket. "What? You guys miss me killing you so much you come my house to die? Geez, it's nice to know I'm wanted." Buffy advanced on the vampire, who backed away slowly, putting his hands up.  
  
"Wait, I don't want to fight you," the vampire struggled to say, which left Buffy standing, stake raised high with a question in her eyes. "It's not like I don't really want to fight you, but I have to give you this message first. You um," he pulled a folded paper out of his pocket, "you have to meet some other vampire at the high school football field at eight. That's his message. Can we fight now?"  
  
Buffy looked at him and sighed, why did the vamps pick this week to give her trouble? She looked at her watch; 7:45, just enough time to dust this guy and head over to the remains of Sunnydale High. She looked back up at the skinny vampire and smirked, "Sure, we could fight now," Buffy drove the stake straight into the vampire's heart, "I win," she finished as he turned to dust. With the fledgling out of the way, Buffy started her walk to the high school.  
  
With the police tape still draped across the charred building, as if trying to cover up the ruins of the former high school, Buffy made her way up to the football field behind the school, which suffered extreme minimal damage. As she walked past the charred building, Buffy smiled for the first time in what seemed to be forever. The tiny blonde thought it funny that she went back to the last place she wanted to be, just to fight a measly vampire. When Buffy reached the track that circled the football field, she was surprised to see nobody there. She looked at her watch again; the numbers were flashing 8:00.  
  
"Don't worry, you're not late," Buffy spun around to search for the origin of the voice, "I just woke up from a little nap. You know, it's really hard staying up all night when you're used to sleeping in the dark. But anyway, Buffy Summers, how's life been treating you?" From out of the shadows stepped one of Sunnydale High's most competitive athletes, Pete Comitor. Only Pete wasn't human anymore, but one of the bloodsucking leeches of the night. The six foot, two inch, 18 year old towered over Buffy and smiled as his mildly handsome face transformed into a lumpy mass of evil wrinkles. She cringed as she saw his pale blue eyes slowly change into a dingy yellow color. Buffy stood there, a little shocked. She didn't know Pete died at graduation and was really sorry it had to happen the way it did.  
  
"Pete, what happened? And what's going on? I've had a really bad week and-" Pete interrupted Buffy with a wave of his hand, "Well, let's see…I died trying to save everybody during our little get together at graduation, and yet my death went unnoticed from my fellow team mates. I knew they weren't at the funeral…I could tell that sort of thing laying there in my coffin. You know those things are really uncomfortable, it's a good thing the people inside of them are dead. Or most of them."  
  
Buffy crossed her arms, "That's it, that's all you wanted to tell me? You made me come all the way here just so you can tell me how jealous you were because your teammates weren't at your funeral? That's it! I'm going home…good bye Pete."  
  
Pete started running and caught up to Buffy only within a few strides. "No Buffy, you don't understand. They were always better than me, rubbing it in 'cause they knew they were better than I was, at everything I tried. I wanted to be like them, but it was impossible. They wouldn't let me get as good as them. I wanted to be the best so badly, I'd do anything." Buffy looked at her watch again and started tapping her foot as Pete continued, "So you see, after I 'rose from my grave', which by the way is really not that hard, I decided to become the best. But, in order to do that, I had to get rid of the competition."  
  
Buffy's interest in Pete's story suddenly skyrocketed, and a look of realization came over her face, "So you're the one who's been killed all of the football players! Why?!"  
  
Peter looked at Buffy in disbelief as he put his hands up into the air, "Um…are you really that dense? I just told you why I did it! I was born with competition in my blood! I'll do anything to be the best! And that's what it took! Anything!"  
  
Buffy almost let out a yell and advanced on Pete, "You idiot! You couldn't be the best at something by trying your hardest, so you just kill to get there!? Geez, people really will do anything just to get to the top. So what now? You're the top guy. You did it, in a very bad way, and I should dust you for that. I still don't know why I'm here listening to all of this. You pretty much killed yourself asking me to come here and telling me you're the one who killed a bunch of young guys who never really intended to get killed," Buffy raised her stake again, but Pete knocked it out of her hand.  
  
Pete laughed after hearing Buffy's protest and explained, "No, slayer, can I call you slayer? After I did my 'evil deed', I felt great about it. I could now be called 'Sunnydale's best football player'. But then, all of the local vamps kept mentioning your name, and how you were the best slayer they've seen in a long time, and how only one vampire could ever come close to killing you. And you, as you put it, 'dusted him' anyway. So this is why you are here. We're going to have a little competition, right now. You're going to fight me, and I'm going to kill you to prove that I am the best at everything, including being a vampire."  
  
Buffy let the information sink in and looked at her stake all the way on the other side of the football field. "No way, this is going to be too easy. A little competition? Does your life revolve around competing against other people? You know, Pete, that wasn't my only stake," Buffy said as she pulled a second stake out from behind her jacket, "Every good slayer knows to always keep a spare stake handy just in case-"  
  
Like swatting a fly with a fly swatter, Pete easily knocked the other stake out of Buffy's hand. Buffy whimpered and looked at Pete, whose demonic yellow eyes glinted at her. "Maybe this won't be as easy as I thought," Buffy said to herself and prepared to fight. Pete growled at Buffy and moved in for his kill. Buffy quickly moved out of the way and started using Pete as an impromptu punching bag. Pete recovered quickly and threw Buffy across the track and into the middle of the football field. Just as Buffy landed, Pete started running toward the slayer, who found it very hard to get up after that hard fall to the ground.  
  
Frantically, Buffy looked around for anything that would help her stake Pete. "C'mon Buff, you'll never find anything woody, you're in the middle of a-hello, what's this?" Buffy whispered as she noticed a very pointy No. 2 pencil lying within arms reach of her. Buffy grabbed the pencil and hid it just as Pete got up to her.  
  
Pete laughed and prepared to tackle Buffy to the ground, bite into her neck, and officially proclaim himself the best. "Ok Buffy, now before I kill you, there's one thing I need to ask of you? Who can you say now, is the best?" Buffy smiled, and with her slayer speed and accuracy flicked the pencil straight into the middle of Pete's heart. "I am," she laughed as she saw Pete's face of shock and defeat turn to dust and blow away with the wind. Buffy manages to slowly lift herself from the ground and started limping her way home. "I'm the best," she repeated to herself over and over again. Maybe it wasn't such a bad week after all. 


End file.
